The cure

Im sick of coming home at night to drink until I cant see, to smoke until i cant breathe. Im sick of this being the only way I can fall asleep at night. Im sick of feeling lonely and feeling the urge to go home when home is something so far I way the effort is completely useless. Im sick of knowing that this apology inside of me will never be delivered; though I've made a promise to myself to say Im sorry the next time i see her. I want to feel something else again, anything other than this. Im so tired of feeling lonesome when my friends are the best in the world..... Im so tired of being alone. Im so tired of being stoned and drunk. Im 18. This is not life!