Karma

Bad things come in perpetual waves of constant disappointment and crippling degradation. Considering what is "fair" or not is a practice in futility. There are nights in which I hope to God a deer finds itself head on with my car at fifty miles per hour. My car is my only friend. The windows are open and the music is on; I let the world know how I feel... and it's not good.

Tonight.

Someday soon I will look back at my youth and understand just how self enamored we all truly are. To be so young and to take ourselves so seriously is nothing short of chaos. However, the process must continue. I lose track of now and set my sights upon the future, considering all that could possibly be, and in this respect I have become the only force liable for the destruction of my creations. It is still not over, not in my mind, not in my dreams. This is the haunt of bitterness and anger, of lust and rejection. I am stepping into the void again, I am glaring into the distance. Is anyone looking back? I sure as hell hope so... I need a good savior.

Someone Saved Me.

I see you now and thank God I never held on. Your investment in a world that I can only see as dark and deep as the ocean itself is bearing down on you. Had you taken me with you I would have done nothing to stop this. However, the fact of the matter is this; the change you sought
has been delivered in a wave of perpetual lies and facades over the faces of the friends you have created. This fact is making it so much easier to get my head around you, and for many moments I find that the positivity surrounding my life right now allows me to entirely dismiss how horribly unkind you were. I cannot continue without mentioning that I myself should have been much more wise in the things I did, however your incessant knack for keeping me in your lap burned a hole through the side of my head and dismantled everything inside of me telling me that it was all wrong. I sincerely hope that you have found something you feel is worth while, and that you are as happy as you're pretending. I can't stand you for ever liking me. That's as honest as I'll ever be. How horrible it is to give your heart and soul and receive bull shit in return.