This is for you. This is for everyone.

For my friends. my family. my enemies. myself.

You've left a trail of blood, just as everyone before you has. Never hate yourself for the things you've done. Don't hate others for what they've done to you. Instead try to see that we have all gone insane. You are a cynic, a liar, a hypocrite, and a villain. I tell myself these things until they become true and only then do I see the trouble we insist on causing ourselves. And in a less intellectual tone, more so what I actually am, I'd only like to say just shut the fuck up already. I thought high school was over. We are all so guilty of horrible things. And in justifying ourselves we have simply gone too far. Just know that you are no better than any common person. You are no more or no less than them.... burning bridges is too much work anyhow... the smoke gets in your eyes.

True Romance

We all live out the same screenplay. We all exist within the same romance. The love you share today with the one who loved someone else just yesterday may be someone else's love tomorrow. We are all firing at will with the idea in our heads that this is for real; "this time it's for me, this is the one, this is what I've been waiting for", we tell ourselves this so many times it becomes convincing. We overlook the fact that those around us walk with the same ideals. And these ideals become perpetual in that the first time we are disappointed with them we become convinced that the next will truly succeed.
The boy meets girl story, through a series of events only capable of being told on the silver screen, or so it seems. But tis is real life and the happiness is overwhelming once the obstacles have been overcome. Heartbreak in the past of both parties, the detrimental effects of abusive relations, the confidence to overpower their parents' will. And thus they are in love. Boy meets girl; boy sees young man looking at girl. Now this young man faces a dilemma all too familiar to the boy himself. This young man is left to wonder how on earth could this happen, how could he have fallen for the girl of his dreams only to see she has been swept away in romance. The young man will soon be a boy. And the boy will soon see that caution can be just as dangerous.

Think about it.

We will all know heartbreak, we will all know love, we will all know rejection, we will all know how it feels when someone truly touches our heart. Yet there are so many times throughout our lives that we will know all of these things; And by those means true romance will never exist with the paths we've forged. So why not throw caution to the wind? You've played both parts. We have all been lovers, friends, jerks, and villains. It should be clear by now that these romances come and go like the seasons change. And furthermore, there are billions of these romances that we will never have, despite how good they may be. In some this idea may instill hope, in others fear. However, the point remains; True romance will only exist when you decide it's time to stop living a dream and realize that you're not fooling anyone.

I could be completely wrong... I have no idea.

The cure

Im sick of coming home at night to drink until I cant see, to smoke until i cant breathe. Im sick of this being the only way I can fall asleep at night. Im sick of feeling lonely and feeling the urge to go home when home is something so far I way the effort is completely useless. Im sick of knowing that this apology inside of me will never be delivered; though I've made a promise to myself to say Im sorry the next time i see her. I want to feel something else again, anything other than this. Im so tired of feeling lonesome when my friends are the best in the world..... Im so tired of being alone. Im so tired of being stoned and drunk. Im 18. This is not life!